Loss of looks, but there is beauty everywhere

I decided to update my Facebook profile picture today. To show people the real truth, the fact that basically I look shit at the moment, and that I have hardly seen anyone since Christmas. I thought it was time that people saw the truth, and why I had become a complete hermit before social isolation became a real thing, just less than a week ago. But there is more to a person than beautiful looks. They don't even need special gifts or talents, just kindness and an ability to accept others for who they are. Moreover, as much as I miss seeing my friends because of my illness and constant pain and fatigue, I miss my NHS doctors - the support they have given me over the years is tremendous. I now can't call on their help at the moment. I am on my own and need to use whatever resources I can to accept this situation. But in many ways, why worry? I am well supported by state welfare, for which I am tremendously grateful. I have a lovely flat and garden. I have food in the fridge. I have friends and family.  I am actually incredibly rich when that is all written down. I am trying to learn French again. I have had to accept that playing the recorder is not a possibility right now, but look to whatever other doors are open to me, and there are so many. Also, I can't sing due to continuous episodes of laryngitis or something similar which has been going on for a few weeks now. Other grips I have are not receiving any post - our whole street is affected, and aside from one parcel delivery, there has been nothing for almost 2 weeks now. I'd just like to have some post to be reassured there is nothing urgent I should have done.

People are being amazing. They are showing great strength and solidarity at a difficulty time. Our street WhatsApp group is buzzing with life. The daffodils are out in the garden and I have one lone tulip. The sun is still shining, although the temperature is half what it was a week ago, even since yesterday.

We maybe in this for the long haul, but we are in it together. I feel this with all my friends, family and the wider world. I could see 2020 changing our whole humanity for the better. Perhaps Covid-19 has done us a small favour.

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